Just Jeans?

I bought a new pair of jeans today. Nothing special about them, they were blue and quite unremarkable.
However, trying them on was quite a trial. I squeezed into them yes, but they didn’t fit and weren’t even close to being the next size down (even though that’s the size I am in another shop). So I took them off in a huff and I cried. I was miserable. What I should’ve done was fold them back up, put them in my wardrobe for when I DO fit in them or worse case scenario, put them back in the bag to return them.

But no I laid on the bed and cried. That horrible little voice in my head turned nasty, vile even. You’re too fat, you’re a blob, you’re ugly, you’re unattractive, you’re stupid, you’re nothing.

My partner reminded me (and for this I am grateful) that the size of my jeans or the number on the scale does NOT reflect on my selflessness, my creativity, my passion. It does NOT reflect how kind I am to others, how patient I am with situations. It does NOT reflect how intelligent I (can be). It doesn’t reflect how far I’ve come in other aspects of my life.

I might be big, heavy, fat whatever you want to call it but I’m a good person. And THAT is what I’m most proud of ❤️