I have many experiences of grief. I’ve been to more funerals than I have weddings which is a deep shame. Everyone who has lost someone goes through the seven stages of grief; Shock and Denial; you may deny the loss or remain in shock for emotional protection. Pain and Guilt; it is important to experience …
Tag Archives: mental illness
Honesty/Hypocrisy: You Choose
I have never professed to be perfect. In fact, in my family, I’m the fuck up. The black sheep. The disappointment. And no this isn’t a beg for “oh surely not” comments; I genuinely am and I’ve radically accepted that. And, at times, I live up to it. I recently posted a video on my …
Why Suicide Isn’t Selfish
**TRIGGER WARNING** This blog post mentions suicide, suicidality and feelings and emotions attached to this action. There will be no disclosure on specific methods, means and if you are feeling suicidal now please Google your local Crisis Centre, hospital or if, like me, you’re in the UK, the Samaritans are there 24/7, 365 days a …
Bouncing Back
On Monday 21st October 2019 I was discharged from the psychiatric ward. I had mixed feelings as I only feel about 70% well and leave didn’t go that well. I came back to the ward Saturday night (due back Sunday night) as I’d tried everything I possibly could to keep myself distracted and busy. But …
Home Leave
Hospital was becoming less effective and although I am not “fixed”, I thought I was at least on my way. I was supposed to go on leave Friday to Sunday and then back for discharge Monday morning but I made the informed decision that I wanted to get back to my ‘normal’ as soon as …
The Fog
I’m starting to think clearer again. Over the past eleven days since my almost fatal overdose, I’m starting to feel more myself. The doctor on my ward is a tough love kinda guy which works well for people like me, not so much for others who need the namby-pamby approach. He says it like it …
What’s New?
I am currently situated in a psychiatric ward somewhere in the Midlands, UK. I have been on this ward before and its fully of, mostly, lovely staff. I have caused some serious hurt in the past few weeks, and some confusion so I am here to clear that up. I have been lying and deceiving …
My Experience of Hallucinations
I experience visual and auditory hallucinations. To me, I am several shades of fucked up. BACKGROUND: I was sexually abused as a child by a relative, which last between the ages of 7 and 12, and I still remember to this day how he smelt. How cold his hands were. How painful it was. How …
Top 5 Tips to Surviving the Shit Days
I don’t know if this’ll be helpful to anyone but here’s some advice from someone who has been through the system and been to some of the darkest places known to man. Here is what I have really learned and implemented over 18 years of struggling with my mental health. Recovery IS possible. It’s hard …
Why Society Is Wrong About Me
It was society that taught me to hate who I am. It was bullying that taught me from a young age that being a different shape from the rest of the girls wasn’t acceptable. That being academically advanced wasn’t cool. That bringing in an ASDA bag for my PE kit instead of an Adidas one …
The Warrior Within 