The Warrior Within

Why You Are Enough

10 Reasons Why You Are Enough

You are enough because you were chosen to exist. Whether by God or Buddha or whatever you do/don’t place your faith in, you are here. You have a purpose and you should try to understand what it is.
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You are enough because you have something else to offer. A killer smile, an affinity for baking, excellent art skills – whatever you’re specialty might be, no one else can compare to you.
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You are enough because you make big mistakes. Huge ones. That’s awesome because it gives you the chance to become better, and you choose to take it.
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You are enough because someone out there loves you. You might not think this all the time but they do. Perhaps they should tell you this more, or perhaps you should listen when they choose to do so.
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You are enough because you have shown vulnerability that shakes you to your core. You have given someone a precious part of yourself that you can’t get back. This shows more courage that anything else.
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You are enough because you let that person go that hurt you and chose to move forward in life. You understood you were worth more than the way you were being treated. You learned to move on.
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You are enough because even though you have let go of some people, you also know there are some you continue to forgive. You’ve become aware of the people who need to stay in your life and sometimes those are the ones that need more forgiveness than others.
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You are enough because you have let your emotions consume you at times. You’ve sat down and drowned in yourself and truly known what it is to be human.
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You are enough because you’ve watched the sunrise or you listened to the wind blowing the leaves around and actually appreciated it. You know there is a natural beauty that people just can’t recreate. You think outside of yourself.
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You are enough because though you may be in a rut now, or maybe you’re having a rough day, you know that things will get better. You have hope. You let the beauty of the brighter days ahead of you carry on until you reach them.
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You, my friend, are enough 💚

How To Be A Good Parent

To the mother who breastfed her baby; I know the amazing feeling that comes with knowing your little one is getting everything they need. I know too, the sheer exhaustion you have felt when it’s all down to you, your nipples are cracked, and you don’t get a break. We are not rivals.
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To the mother who formula fed her baby; I know the overwhelming rush of love you felt seeing your family feeding the baby. I know too, the guilt, the pressure and the judgement you have felt from the outside looking in. I know you dreaded telling the health visitor your reasons. We are not rivals.
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To the mother who made every puree from scratch, I know the peace of mind you had knowing exactly what your baby was eating. I know too, the crushing disappointment when your baby spits out your hard work. We are not rivals.
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To the mother who stock piled the baby food from the supermarket; I know that time is precious and a commodity you don’t have a lot of, as is freezer space. I know too, your shopping bill seems to have doubled and all that stuff smells gross. We are not rivals.
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To the mother who picks her baby up each time they cry, I know they aren’t little for long and these cuddles are precious. I know too, the exasperation of a baby who won’t sleep when you are so longing to yourself. We are not rivals.
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To the mother who returns to work; I know the joy of adult conversation and the time to be yourself. I know too, the guilt you feel and the sadness when you kiss your children goodbye. We are not rivals.
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To the mother who stays at home; I know the joy of a day filled with simple pleasures and giggles. I know too, the relentlessness of the demands you have to meet and the need to justify your place in society. We are not rivals.
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There is no wrong way. There is just your way. Sometimes it’s a choice, sometimes it’s a circumstances. We all agonise over the decisions we make. We all feel the guilt that comes with being a parent.
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We are not rivals. We are mothers.

Judgement

I get scared when people are judgemental. What will they think if they see me in my wheelchair? Or with my walking stick? Or parked in a disabled bay with my blue badge? Are they judging me on my weight? Do they think that I’m lazy as well as fat? Do they assume I just eat crap? What do people think of my relationship? What do people think…WAIT!
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Why do I give a fuck what people think? I’m probably the most carefree I’ve been in a long time in the sense that I’m living my life in my own way, keeping circles with my own choice of people and without apology.
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I still worry I’m getting judged but I’m a lot less worried than what I was 2 years ago. I figured that if I kept on dictating my life by what others think then I’m always going to be their prisoner.
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It took me almost 30 years to learn how to like/love myself. I don’t have that sort of time to convince others 👍🏼

Self Care: Vital not Vain

elf Care

I was reminded today that people shouldn’t be ashamed to take antidepressants. If you were diabetic, you’d take your insulin. If you were lacking in Vitamin D, you’d take supplements. So why, if you’re lacking in serotonin, do you struggle to take antidepressants?

Self care is so bloody important; it matters over every test, result, interview and job. If you need to rest, rest. If you need time alone, retreat. Mental illness is not a personal failure however which way you look at it. It is not a character flaw and it is not a personality defect, it is an illness which you can take medication for if that’s what you need. Don’t be ashamed of that. Half the world is on medication for something.

It is NECESSARY to look after yourself. There is no selfishness in taking care of yourself even if you are a parent. Remember, a well ‘you’ enables a well ‘them’ ❤️

Love Wins. Always

I don’t hide my love for Jade anymore. I found my soulmate, it just so happens she’s a woman. Some people in my life aren’t cool with that, which hurts me. Why can’t they see I am so happy? In love? Respected? Treated well?

I’ve come from 2 relationships with men that were, in their own way, violent. I am now treated the way I deserve to be treated. I very rarely flinch when a hand goes near my head now and that’s because I’m safe. When Oliver grows up, he will be allowed the choice (in my eyes) to love who he wants without restriction and without condition.

We’ve been together almost two and a half years and our future is bright. No one should be restricted, or treated differently, because of the person they love. Religion shouldn’t dictate who you can and can’t love. Love is love…who doesn’t get that?

Believe In Your #Selfie

I just saw drama unfold on a group I’m on because a woman had taken a selfie. She was called stuck up, too into herself, pretentious and self-indulged. Poor woman.

Sometimes, people take selfies for practical reasons i.e. there is no one else there. Some do it because they want to capture a moment or a memory either by themselves or with someone else. Some do it because they might be having a good day. And some people just fucking want to 🤷‍♀️

I know I speak for myself when I tell you when I post a selfie it’s because I felt good about myself. For that moment, my hair looked good, or I’ve lost weight, or my make up looks particularly nice that day.

We, as women, should be being each other’s champion. When women support each other, incredible things can happen. We should be building each other’s confidence and straightening each other’s crowns.

Next time you see a selfie on social media, just try and think of the confidence that took to take and to share. That person felt good about themselves for that snapshot moment. They’ve every right to share that.

In generations to come, all we’ll have is photos because one day we won’t be here and our grandchildren and great grandchildren might want to see a photo. Make it one where you felt good about yourself 💜

Imagine Being Blamed for Cancer…

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I invite all my Facebook friends to afford the same compassion you do for physical difficulties to mental health difficulties.

Cancer, for example, affects 1 in 5…mental health 1 in 4 and that’s just the cases we know about. It is more prevalent in society than cancer and yet society condemns, judges and stigmatises people with poor mental health. It is not chosen, you cannot snap out of it, it is genetic in some diagnoses, it is a chemical imbalance in others.

If one of your friends or family struggle with their mental health, the best thing you can do is reach out to them. There may be nothing you can do but tell them you’re there for them. Tell them that despite any label they have, they are still the person you loved before you found out they were mentally unwell.

Educate yourself and make a difference to the millions who are isolated, bullied and judged on something that is not their fault and that they can’t help.

Ain’t Easy Being Wheezy

It’s World Asthma Day on 1st May apparently and I would like to share this day in gratitude for our NHS.

In December 2017 I was taken poorly with my asthma that developed into a chest infection which landed me in Intensive Care. The doctors, nurses and health care assistants did a great job in reassuring and looking after me.

As a result of that episode I did quit smoking for 4 months. It’s been long overdue having smoked since I was 13. I did have a sneaky few but I’m back on it and nearly a month in again. Stopping smoking has improved my health and saved me money, and my asthma nurse is pleased with me. I have an appointment this month to hopefully be discharged from the clinic.

So in a strange kind of way, that asthma episode back in December was a massive wake up call. I never take my health for granted now. After all, it ain’t easy being wheezy!!

Comparison With Others

Whilst applying for work I’ve been able to be a little reflective, and therefore stressed lol. I realise that my degree got me nowhere because for some jobs I’ve had to remove my degree off my CV in order to get an interview. And I’m physically limited because of my disability. I’m like jack of all trades, master of none.

I’m forever comparing myself to other people which is something I MUST stop doing. I’m comparing myself to my fellow graduate who is doing well in her legal career whereas I can’t even land an interview. I’m comparing myself to Jade because at least she has a skill and is using it, and I don’t feel like an equal because I’m not bringing in any money. I’m comparing myself to someone amazing who has been through her fair share of shit and is able to be in the position to buy her own house.

But I’ve gained perspective. Life took me elsewhere to heal from trauma. A job will come along when it comes. I’m going to TRY and stop stressing about feeling inadequate. I’m definitely trying to stop comparing myself, that’s for sure. I might never own my own home but that’s ok. I might never get to where I wanted to be but that’s ok. Because where I wanted to be 10 years ago isn’t where I want to be now. Success for me meant high flying career and all associated.

Nowadays I value health, love and happiness in terms of success. And I consider myself pretty successful 💜

Small Circles

We have 150+ friends on Facebook, we have several contacts in our phone, we may have hundreds of followers on Instagram or Twitter…but in reality we keep our circles small. Quality over quantity every time, for me anyway. I have lots of acquaintances on social media and out of that lot, I could probably count on 4 or 5. And that makes me lucky and grateful.

I recently went to a demonstration and she made an excellent point. We have friends on Facebook who would walk past us on the street, who occasionally may ‘like’ a picture or status, but then when it comes to your funeral everyone states that they loved you, everyone tries to attend your funeral. Why? Make that effort whilst someone is still alive.

From someone who has experienced too many funerals and not enough weddings, it is good to have your circle small and stable. I am grateful for the friends I have; they’re amazing. That saying, I still like to follow old friends’ lives; I am willing them to do well even if we’re not close anymore.

We should say hi if we cross each other in the street, we should follow each other’s lives and celebrate with them. What we shouldn’t do, is wait til someone has sadly passed in order to show them they were valued. I learned that the hard way.

Be kind to all, and keep your circle small ❤️